heart's balm
by kamadi
Summary: Gibbs is losing his mask. SLASH now betaed
1. Chapter 1

Now beta-ed by the wonderful hell.beast! (you totally rock) I'm eternally grateful that someone had enough patience to correct my less then fantastic English grammar…..still any mistakes present are still my own fault!

A/N: this is my first attempt at a NCIS story, so please let me know what you think of it, and whether I should continue it or not. O, before I forget this is SLASH people, so don't like that….don't read it!

When it was daytime he could pretend. It was difficult, and was getting tougher every day, but he would manage, he _had_ to manage. He just had to continue to act like his subordinates expected from him: Jethro Gibbs, with the second B for Bastard, three times married and a coffee addict. He was fine with that, really he was. It was much better that they see that, then them actually trying to see what was going on inside his head, because that would be a problem. But at night in his bed, he could not pretend anymore.

In bed he dreamed about Tony. About the way Tony would feel to him, tender like a balm to his inner rage. He would wrap himself around Gibbs with his warmth, his whispers, his words and his strength. He would lie beneath him, arching into Gibbs touch, caressing him, surrendering to him, loving him. He knew that he needed these dreams as much as he hated them: they fuelled his passion to heights that were becoming dangerously, but since he knew that he could never have Tony for real….he would dream about it. And he would pray that that would stay enough.

TBC………….if you liked it, let me know and this story will continue, otherwise I will be too depressed to write more.


	2. interlude

Disclaimer:……they don't belong to me….not even in the first chapter.

'_Do you know what the most powerful emotion is?_

………_.love, creed, hate?'_

_The answer?…..It's none of the above. The most powerful emotion is fear. Hate is based on the fear of the unknown. Creed is based on the fear to lose your possessions, while love is based on the fear to be alone._

_Fear can create many things: aggression, protectiveness, it can lead to war and make a grown man cry, it can create masks to hide your feelings but it can also destroy them. Fear is able to shatter the toughest masks you have created... especially once you fear, losing the person you care for most……_

_And Leroy Jethro Gibbs is about to learn the last aspect very well._

TBC……

I wanted to write a longer chapter but the computer malfunctioned sooo, I decided to put this up as an introduction and as a way of not letting you wait so long for a new chapter. I would love to receive some feedback people……fear for not doing something positive might be enough to stop me from continuing the story ;)


	3. The storm

A/N: thank you all for reviewing my story, I am most humbled that (most of) you are liking it…..please continue (you are helping to boost a 'fragile' ego ;)...)

Disclaimer: still don't own them…….sniff.

Chapter 1: The storm.

The air was becoming darker every minute; the trees were beginning to shake under the force of the wind. The storm that had been dormant for most of the day was finally gaining strength. Studying the surrounding area of the crime scene Gibbs noticed that the evidence that was present would most likely wash away. Determined not to let all evidence go to waste he called out: "Dinozzo, get your ass up on the mountain and see if there is anything useful before it's washed away." Not even waiting for a reply Gibbs turned around and once again studied the scene.

_/ The area where the dead marine was found was an open space at the bottom of a mountain. The condition of the man led __them to believe that he was killed... the bullet wound in the head was a dead giveaway. Trees surrounded the small open space giving the scene an almost intimate atmosphere/._ Further muses were interrupted when the first drops started to fall, which quickly turned into a full rain shower... making it almost impossible for Gibbs to even identify the outlines of the trees. Calling out to McGee and Ziva, to gather what they had and to get the hell out of the storm, he pulled his cell out of his pocket to call Tony, with the intention to get him of the mountain, when he saw that his battery was empty. Once again cursing his inability to deal with modern equipment... he looked up hoping that Tony would be smart enough to get his ass off the mountain.

There wasn't that much evidence to find, Tony discovered. The only thing that indicated a possible struggle was a broken twig halfway the mountain. Sighing he looked up at the sky, just in time to catch the first few drops in his face alerting him that now would be a good time to get the hell out of there. Bracing himself for a wet suit, he carefully bagged the little evidence he had and began the trip back. Not even three minutes later the first flash lighted the air, forcing Tony to stop and look for a shelter. The small cavern a few meters away caught his eye. Decision made, he slowly climbed towards it, while the lightning helped him find his way.

About a meter from his destination, Tony thought he heard voices coming from above him. Coming to a stop he cocked his head, trying to identify the sounds.

_.. re... you.../_

_ot... ell... itch/_

_/o... I... o... no... __NO/_

The storm made it almost impossible to hear anything, but he could identify a terrified voice when he heard it. Trying to find a way to make his way to where Tony thought he heard the voices coming from, he missed the figure falling straight at him... dragging Tony down in the figures fall.

TBC……….well what do you think (in any case it's a longer chapter right?)


	4. Gibb's foolish decision

You know the drill: they don't belong to me……etc.

Standing in the pouring rain looking up at the mountain, Gibbs realized that he could no longer escape his feelings. The love he felt for Tony was getting to difficult to hide, and people where starting to notice. Snorting Gibbs thought that it was actually about time somebody noticed... they were supposed to be professionals after all. Squinting as he stared at the mountain again... the worry that had been present when the storm began was growing. Gibbs knew that Tony would be smart enough to leave the area with this weather but even after twenty minutes the man still hadn't come down.

Looking once over his shoulder Gibbs saw the lights of the tent his team had set up and where they were now seeking shelter from the rain, before he turned around and headed to the mountain. Tony needed help; he could feel it and he'll be dammed if he let the man he loved down.

The first two things Tony realized when he woke up were the fact that he was wet and that he couldn't breath, causing immediate panic. Only when his vision started to turn black once again, was Tony able to calm down enough to take a shallow breath and study his situation.

//The fall in which Tony had been dragged was fortunately a very short one, since a small extension in the mountain had been able to catch him in his fall, the man or woman who had fallen and dragged him down was nowhere in sight.//

Deciding that the extension was small but secure enough to sustain some movement, Tony decided to get some shelter from the rain. With small precise movements he succeeded in dragging himself towards the mountain's wall where Tony began to list his injuries. His right leg was hurting like hell, so he probably sustained some kind of fracture there, his left shoulder felt swollen and he could feel a trickle of blood running down his head. Still they did not frighten him to a large extend….none of them seemed serious enough to be life threatening. Trying to assume a more comfortable position to wait for rescue however brought a tickle of fear alive in him: it seemed as if someone had decided to stab a knife in his side. Doubling over in pain he coughed, and the tickle of fear became a flood, blood... he was coughing up blood!

Wiping his mouth with a shaking hand, Tony leant back... there was nothing he could do but pray that help would arrive soon...

TBC...


	5. darkness descends

A/N: Wow, thanks for the reviews! They were really spirit-lifting…..it took me a while to return back to earth after the compliments I've gotten :)…….but now that I'm back again; here's a new chapter and you now the drill: I do not own them and I appreciate reviews.

Gibbs had been walking for ten minutes when he spotted the body. The only thing that he could identify in the rain was that it was male and that it had been pierced by a piece of rock. For the first time in years, he began to pray.

_//Please God, I know that I don't pray that much and that I'm not the most perfect human on this earth….but please. I'm asking, NO, begging you: don't take away the man that I love more then having the ability to breath.//_

Standing next to the body, Gibbs barely suppressed a sigh when he realised that it wasn't Tony. Crouching down he carefully examined the man, since he realised that Tony had also taken this way and there was no chance in hell that Tony would have ignored the body, it meant that the man had died after Tony had passed by... making Gibbs aware that there was the possibility that Tony and the victim had met. What happened after that... well that was anyone's guess, but not something Gibbs wanted to think about. After one last look at the body and the surrounding area, he continued his hike; all the way praying that he would not find Tony in the same condition as the man he just left behind.

The rain had soaked Tony, making him shiver and aggravating the pain in his side. Groaning he closed his eyes and curled his hands into fists repressing the urge to push them on the painful area. He knew that he was weakening in a frightening pace, but he also realised that he could not get out of this situation on his own. He really needed help. Squeezing his eyes tighter, to stop the tears that threatened to escape him, he send out a prayer to anybody that would listen that he would be rescued. Opening his eyes he studied the sky; he just wished that it wouldn't be the last thing he ever saw, but when colours starting to appear in the corners of his vision and it became difficult for him to breath, he understood that it was over. No more 'living to the max' for Anthony DiNozzo... this was it. Already half unconsciousness, he realised that the thing that bothered him the most was that he would never see Gibbs again. Strange that the truth always came when you no longer had the chance to change things. And when darkness finally settled in and the world became quiet, Tony's only comfort was that he would see Kate again.

TBC

Okay, once again a short chapter…but that's what I do best ;)…..please review


	6. McGee's idea

A/N: Here's another part of the story…and yes this part is a bit longer :). I hope that you enjoy it, feedback is welcomed…it's getting colder again and some nice words are keeping my fingers (that have to type this story) warm enough to press the keys :).

O, I know that you know it, but: these characters do not belong to me…. unfortunately.

McGee was worried... no scrap that... he was terrified. When he realised that Tony hadn't come down and Gibbs had stayed behind he had known it. 'Damn it. He was young yes but he wasn't stupid.' After Kate had died, Tony was Gibbs main concern (McGee knew that Gibbs was worried about him as well but Tony was...well... _special_). So when Gibbs had ordered them to find shelter, he had known that Gibbs was going after Tony. And now both men had been gone for more then an hour, and both had not responded to his phone calls.'

Opening his mouth he called out to Ziva "We need to find Gibbs, I've got a bad feeling about this." Not waiting for a response, he pulled out his cell and waited for Abby to pick up. Absently tapping his foot on the ground he suppressed a small smile, both Gibbs and Tony would kill him and Abby when they found out what they had done a few months ago, but that was something for the future.

"_Hello, Mistress Abby speaking."_

Thankful that he had reached her, he suppressed the sigh that was trying to escape his throat:

"Hey Abby, it's me. I don't have time to explain everything, but you need to do something for me, OK? I need you to activate the locater beacon in Gibbs and Tony."

"_McGee? What's wrong, are Gibbs and Tony alright??"_

Briefly closing his eyes, he replied "I don't know Abby. Tony went to gather some evidence but then a storm broke out en Gibbs went after him... Abby that was an hour ago. I'm really worried, so could you please activate them?"

"_Sure thing, but you do know that I'm not the one who's going to tell them that we found them with the help of location beacons I injected them with…"_

This time not being able to suppress a sigh he answered "Yes Abby, I realise that I have to confess that it was my idea to inject with locater beacons when they thought that they getting the flu shot. But that's later, right now I'm perfectly willing to be yelled at, at least then I know that they are safe."

"_Okay, then two lost men coming up…you should get the signal now, and Tim get them home in __one __piece."_ With those words Abby disconnected the line and the search to find Tony and Gibbs began.

The rain was getting worse, if that was even possible. Gibbs wiped the rain from his face again, while he took a moment to find out where he was. He hadn't realised before since he had been so focused on the body, but the terrain was getting trickier by the minute. Not only was the ground turning into a very slippery area but there were also branches from trees blocking his way. Gibbs knew that very soon, it would be impossible to travel any further and look for Tony.

Gibbs didn't often have the urge to cry but right now he had to fight with every fibre in his being to dam the tears that threatened to escape him. He could not afford to lose Tony, not now... not ever. Throwing his head back when he was no longer able to contain his tears he cried out Tony's name.

And nobody could have been more surprised when he got an answer...

TBC... next chapter will be even longer :)... but of course that depends on the state of my fingers: please review.


	7. a new player

A/N: Hello everybody! I'm thrilled that I received all those wonderful reviews so I decided to treat you all on a (in my book) long chapter, unfortunately the flu has decided to throw some party and I was one of the lucky guest that was invited. But I still managed to type a …..so enjoy.

Disclaimer: Ooo you know the drill….if not see previous chapters.

James Mitchell's day was not going like he had planned it. It all started the moment he had killed his colaege. Well he smiled slightly, the actual killing part had worked out fine but after that everything went to hell. Not only had the stupid NCIS shown up far to soon, no he had also been followed by his brother in law. Because he had been _concerned _about him, his sister had told him some stories that pressed him to follow James. And that had lead to the actual fact that he had seen the murder. Pressing his hand against his eyes he inwardly sighed, thank god the fool had decided to confront him when he had walked back to his car. Instead of going to the police himself his brother in law had tried to convince James to turn himself in. The reason: he just _knew_ that James had done the actual killing out of self defence. **God what a loser.** Of course it wasn't self defence, that asshole had tried to rip him of his coke. But that idiot of his brother in law would not see it, well all for the better of course. Because he had been able to convince that moron that he would turn himself in, and gave him the opportunity to deal accordingly with brother in law. But what he hadn't expected was the fact that the twit had fought back, or that a storm would result in a fallen tree on his car destroying his chance on a successful escape. But now, smiling James studied the stricken looking man in front of him, yes now everything would turn out alright again.

"_I'm may not be this Tony, but I'm sure I can help you find him."_

Gibbs had not expected to get a response, so it was no surprise that he was more then surprised when a man appeared. Quickly recovering his equilibrium he regarded the man with professional interest: tall and broad, were the two most immediate characteristics that came to Gibbs's mind. The man was huge and packed a lot of muscle but that was not what draw the most attention: that honour was reserved for the eyes. Soulless was the best way to describe them, they held no life or compassion. Swallowing his sudden fear (damn it, he was Jethro Bastard Gibbs not a Probie), he responded.

"Hello, My name is Gibbs. And I'm with NCIS." He didn't bother to explain the term since the men was wearing a outfit that indicated that he was a marine. "What happened to you?"

Only years of training alerted Gibbs on the slight wince in the man's posture when he mentioned NCIS. Carefully filing the information away, he waited for an answer.

'Fuck, this day just got worse,' Mitchell thought. 'That goddamn guy was a Fed. His first guess had been that the man had lost his boyfriend after an argument, and supportive as he was he could have helped him find the guy and at the same time have a way to get of the mountain. But now he was under the risk of getting caught. Time for a good show. "Hi, I'm James and I had the unfortunate luck for a tree to land on my car. I barely managed to get out alive. I decided to look for another way down, but it looks like every road that could get me of this mountain is blocked. I had just given up the hope that I could get some help, when I suddenly heard you calling. Really good timing." _careful now James_, "But, if you don't mind, what is NCIS doing here agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs studied the man in front of him, all his gut instincts where telling him that this man meant trouble. Quickly deciding what he could tell without giving to much information, he started to speak: "No, I don't mind. I'm looking for an agent of mine. We're here to investigate the death of a collegue of your and I had just sent my agent up here to search the area for more evidence when the storm started. I've been looking for him since that time."

Almost growling James suppressed his anger. Not only did he now have to deal with one nosy agent, somewhere out there was a second one... and what was worse, that one might even have heard or seen something. Well there was only one thing he could do now: straitening his shoulders he put on his most sympathetic face and spoke: "I think that we should look for your agent together, after all there's no way of this mountain and two have a better chance of finding him,'._.. hopefully dead but if necessary then I'm at least right beside you to handle the situation... if that guy saw something he shouldn't have._

TBC...well: love it? Hate it? Let me know.


	8. Chapter 8

The storm was at it's peak, at least that was what Gibbs was hoping. After he and James had exchanged information (Well information from his side, he just knew that James had told him a bunch of lies), they started to look for Tony. To say that was difficult would be an understatement: the rain and wind made it almost impossible for the two men to see more then a few feet in front of them. James has been looking at him for the past ten minutes, and the look in the man eyes told Gibbs more then anything that the man thought the search for one person was ridiculous. But Gibbs knew that he couldn't give up the hope that Tony was alright, so ignoring the gaze of the other he searched further.

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Opening your eyes and seeing nothing but darkness was not the sort of thing that would calm a mans nerves, and Tony was no exception. The last thing he remembered was the thought that he would see Kate again... and he had not expected that she would be symbolised by total darkness, so that meant he was alive (well sort of, it felt more like he had been hid by a large truck and was only half alive)

Groaning he tried to raise himself, but had to give up when his insides felt like they were on fire. Shaking his head Tony tried to clear his vision, but the darkness remained... feeding Tony's fear: He was all alone, seriously hurt and unable to see in the middle of a storm! Things couldn't get much worse... no sooner had Tony thought that or he heard a noise that could be only described as rocks sliding down a mountain. Now more then ever convinced that he was going to die, DiNozzo forgot everything manly he ever learned in his life and did the only thing he could: he screamed for help.

"HELP... SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME..."

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"HELP...SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME..."

Normally those words would have scared the hell out of Gibbs, but right now? It was the most beautiful sound in the world: Screaming meant that the 'screamer' was awake which meant that Tony was alive and conscious... perhaps even unscratched (the scream was hard enough to suggest such a thing). Not even waiting to see if James had heard the scream too, Gibbs began to move towards the sound, only to stumble over something lying a couple feet in front of him. Briefly casting a glance down with the intention to climb over the offending rock or tree branch Gibbs was shocked to notice that it was Tony. Getting down on his knees next to him, he carefully assessed his agent state before he tapped Tony on his cheek, noticing that his agent had curled up and had his eyes closed:

"DiNozzo, It's Gibbs can you hear me? Come on Tony; open those eyes for me, I heard your call for help... your not alone Tony!"

Unfortunately it looked like Tony was unconscious. Trying to locate James, Gibbs carefully felt for broken bones in the other mans body, wincing when he discovered more damage then he had hoped for.

"Dammit Dinozzo, your not giving up: you hear me!."

James voice suddenly sounded in Gibbs ear,: "How is he? Has he already said anything."

Not even bothering to answer the man Gibbs once again tried to rouse Tony. This time he was successful as Tony's eyes fluttered before they opened.

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Tony could swear he heard a voice in the darkness, it spoke a tone that he knew so well and was impossible to ignore, forcing his eyes open he automatically responded.

"Boss, is that...?," a hackling cough interrupted anything else Tony wanted to say. Shutting his eyes again, he missed the growing panic on Gibbs face when his boss saw the trickle of blood that was sliding down the corner of his mouth. Using every bit of strength Tony opened his eyes again, only to realise that he still could see nothing, with a shot of energy he tried to grab Gibbs jacket. "Boss,...I...I can't see, I'm blind...I'm..."

For a second time Tony could not finish his sentence, when another cough made itself present, folding himself into a ball he was forced one more time to wait for the pain to pass, or to pass out again. Unfortunately the last one was no option, because Gibbs started talking again: forcing him to listen... ordering him to stay awake... and Tony was never one to ignore an order from Gibbs.

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Gibbs was worried, scrape that, he was downright terrified: not only was Tony unable to see, the blood indicated that there was some kind of internal injury and he was unable to help him.. but even worse then all that was the fact that he had no idea how this situation had occurred in the first place: had the dead guy had anything to do with it? Was it an accident, or not? Gibbs needed answers, he needed to know if there was any danger that was still threatening Tony. However before he could find the words to ask Tony about all those thoughts. James voice interrupted his musings,

"Well Agent Gibbs, is your guy alive and responsive, does he know what happened?"

The reaction this enquiry had on Tony was enough to answer Gibbs unspoken question about possible danger: Tony suddenly grasped his hand and squeezed it, while a look of extreme panic settled across his face.

Carefully Gibbs squeezed Tony's hand back, signalling the man that he understood: that somehow this man was responsible (partly or wholly) for Tony's condition. Turning away from Tony, and slowly getting up, Gibbs eyed the other one looking for any signals that James knew what had just transpired between the two man. Seeing no immediate alertness, but not wanting to risk further injury to DiNozzo, he reached for his gun while at the same time trying to come up with a response long enough to distract James.

TBC……….I'm abroad for a while so the next update will take some time (again **sigh**), I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me.


	9. The rescue

/N: Thanks for the patience you all had…..to reward you all: I'm giving you a longer chapter, then usually ENJOY! I also promise you all that updates will happen more frequently, since I have a bunch of free time coming along.

"_Well Agent Gibbs, if your guy alive and responsive, does he know what happened?"_

The moment the words left his mouth, James knew that it was over. The slight freeze of the man on the ground, and the slight tension that suddenly surrounded the other agent affirmed it. Slightly backing away, trying to look at much at ease as possible, he noticed that Gibbs was reaching for his gun. Mentally cursing James scanned for possible scenario's which would allow him to get away in one piece... unfortunately none came to mind. So when he suddenly heard some noise behind the other man he didn't waste a second, and he saw that Gibbs became distracted, he ran into the woods. This moment was not the right time to deal with them, he would have to wait for a little while longer.

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Gibbs thought he had the situation under control, James was not aware that he had been figured out. He stood between James and DiNozzo and he had the advantage of surprise, so when he heard a noise behind him he had become slightly distracted. He had not thought about the possibility of a second man, mentally cursing himself he tried to look behind him for possible threats that could endanger Tony while at the same time trying to keep an eye on James only to be confronted by a empty spot. Regrettably Gibbs had no more time to think abut it since the noise became louder, indicating that whoever was approaching was getting closer.

McGee had the unique opportunity to experience relief and fear at the same time. The scanner he used to track down Gibbs and Tony had first indicated that they were not together, but now showed that the two men had found each other. So that fact eased McGee's mind a bit, on the other side: the dots indicating the two man had not moved from their position, and since he was walking in the same area, McGee knew that there was absolute no cover for the two to hide from the storm. Thus McGee feared the worst and had persuaded the search and rescue team he dragged along to move faster.

Once again looking at the display of the scanner, McGee was happy to see that they had almost reached their destination. More or less running he arrived at the designated spot only to come to an abrupt halt when he saw the scene in front of him.

Gibbs was standing in front of a bloody figure that was lying on the ground (and since the scanner indicated that Tony and Gibbs where together, McGee assumed that the figure was Tony). But the stance Gibbs had adopted was frightening to say at least.

For all the world Gibbs looked like he would gladly tear anyone or anything apart, who as much as glanced at the man lying on the ground. Keeping his posture as non threatening as possible he tried to address his boss.

"Umm, boss……It's me……ummm…McGee???"

McGee actually could see the awareness seeping back into the other man's eyes before Gibbs reacted, in his usually cheerful way.

"I know who you are McGee. I hope you didn't come here all the way to tell me who you are. Tony is hurt pretty bad, and he needed to be in the hospital like an hour ago. Now get your ass down here McGee."

Almost falling in his haste to reach his boss, he rattled the information off that he knew:

"The rescue team was right behind me boss, they should be here any minute..." And just then he saw the condition of Tony. "Jesus boss what happened?"

"I don't know McGee, but we need to find out."

Very soon the rescue team arrived on the spot, quickly and professionally assessing the situation before they knelt down next to Tony to inventory and treat his worst injuries. The leader of the group remained aside to call for an ambulance to await the team's return. Then turning around he addressed both Gibbs and McGee "We need to get of this mountain, the storm is getting heavier again and we can't treat you agent's injuries here. We really need to get him into a hospital." Seeing that the other two men were not giving any objections he turned towards his men again. "Alright guys, lets stabilize him and get him into a hospital alright?"

The five minutes it took for everybody to get ready, were passing agonizing slowly for Gibbs. Every second it took the rescue team to prepare them for the way down, was a second that Tony did not have.

And perhaps that fear, the fear that after everything Tony went through they might be to late to save him, could explain why Gibbs wasn't more alert when one of the rescue members turned his back against him and busied himself with the I.V. that had been put in Tony's veins. He may have noticed the fact that the man wore clothing that he had seen earlier beneath his rescue jacket and he may even had noticed that when they finally went there was a strange lump of leaves on the side of their path. But all this went straight past Gibbs, who had his eyes glued to the still figure of Tony, the entire way of the mountain.

TBC……hmmm this isn't really my favourite chapter so far, but as always I'm interested in your opinion, so let me know ok? I promise to reply…bribe enough? ;)


	10. The hospital

The waiting room in the hospital symbolized the two things in live that Gibbs hated most: waiting and not being able to do anything. During the trip from the mountain to the hospital he had at least been able to stay close to Tony, but even that had been taken away from him once they entered the hospital. So now he was left in the waiting room with the rest of his team…condemned to just wait for any news that some nurse would give them. After he had given them the short version of what happened with him and Tony he was once again forced to do nothing. But Gibbs knew that he needed to think of something else, or else he would lose his mind, so he said the only thing that came to mind.

"Hey, McGee good work finding us so quickly, how _did_ you manage to do it so fast under those circumstances."

What happened next would have been hilarious , if the man Gibbs loved had not been serious injured. McGee who had been sitting on a chair with his head resting against the wall, but when he heard the question he jumped up only to fall forward... straight into Ziva's lap. She as Gibbs could clearly see was less then thrilled since she immediately shoved him away on the floor.

Scrambling up but not looking anywhere near the vicinity of Gibbs or Ziva McGee mumbled a response, "hmm, sorry Boss. What was the question again?"

Knowing every trick in the book for stalling time Gibbs knew that McGee had heard the question and was trying to get out of it. Narrowing his eyes, Gibbs stared at McGee not repeating the question just staring at the younger man.

When McGee had heard the question he had dreaded to hear, he had been startled enough to lose his balance, and make the situation in which he found himself even worse by falling in Ziva's lap. 'Well,' McGee thought warily, 'at least he had succeeded in distracting Gibbs... or so he thought since Gibbs was using his special glare at him.' Internally praying for a quick death if he was not believed,... he took a deep breath before he stuttered out a hopeful believable lie.

"Umm well you see sir... ehh boss... I was lucky????"

The look that Gibbs gave him convinced McGee that he was not buying it, so cursing his luck he answered truthfully, "Abby and I thought that the two of you often came into a bit of a... well...tricky situation so... ehhmm... I... eh that is Abby and I came to the conclusion that it may be for the best to well..." Losing his nerve McGee rattled the rest of the sentence as quickly as possible,"putatrackingdeviceinthetwoofyou." before closing his eyes and waiting for the outburst which he knew would come.

"..."

The continuing silence convinced McGee to crack one eye open, to see something that had always been listed on his 'never-ever going to happen list': Gibbs stood with his mouth open, gaping at him, a total look of confusion on his face.

"You did what, when did this happen???"

"I... eh as I said Abby and I thought that it might be wise to put a tracking device in Tony and yourself Boss since you're both ehhmm accident prone. As for the when Boss, you remember your physical don't you?"

"You mean that...?"

"Yes, Boss and I'm very sorry to have done this behind the back of Tony and yourself, but..." and with that McGee straightened his shoulder. "... But I'm not sorry for the fact that Abby and I did it. I mean: thanks to this we found you and Tony in time before Tony's condition worsened."

Looking at Gibbs was at this moment was possibly the hardest thing McGee ever had to do but what he saw, eased his nerves especially when he heard the reply of Gibbs

"McGee, never ever apologise, it's a sign of weakness. And you really have nothing to be sorry for; you took the right decision, you did good McGee thank you."

However before McGee could reply to this praise, they were interrupted by the appearance of the doctor who was treating Tony, and was wearing a less then optimistic face...

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TBC..

PS: Have you ever seen SHREK 2??? well then you do know that lovely little cat in it with the large begging eyes don't you???, well I'm looking exactly like that right know...so please if you have the time push that little review button. Your review will make me Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr happily and encourage me to write a bit faster ...and no I'm not blackmailing you all ;)


	11. relief and danger all in one

A/N: thanks for wonderful reviews! I hope that this chapter calms some of your nerves considering the state of Tony's health…. As if I would ever hurt Tony …….;)

Gibbs swore that for a second or two his heart had stopped. The moment he had seen the expression on the doctors face it just... stopped beating, but as much as he wanted to die (God, he couldn't bear to hear the news that Tony... beautiful, filled with life, Tony was dead) his heart started to work again. From the corner of his eyes Gibbs could see that McGee and Ziva had joined him, and that they were just as anxious as he was.

Not wanting to ask the question but knowing that it was expected of him as the leader of his team he got his act together and asked the dreaded question.

"Doctor Harris, how is Tony... Agent DiNozzo's condition?"

Mentally bracing himself for the "I'm very to inform you..." talk he tried his best to at least appear calm for the benefit of McGee and Ziva.

To say that the three of them were a little surprised when the doctors face suddenly cleared up and he replied with a smile_: "Agent DiNozzo is stabilised and is sleeping comfortably at this moment."_, would have been an understatement.

"What,?" from the three of them only Ziva seemed able to produce a bit of a coherent reaction. "But... that is good news is it not? Then why for Jack's sake did you look like you had bad news?" For once neither McGee or Gibbs felt the need to correct Ziva since, while they both felt relieved that Tony would be fine, they were equally interested in the answer of the man.

Looking slightly uncomfortably Harris answered, "I'm sorry that I give you all a scare but I assure you it has nothing to do with you Agent's condition. It's just that one of the rescue members has not yet reported back to the rescue coordinator, normally that wouldn't be an immediate reason for concern but I had an appointment with the man. And since I hadn't heard anything I decided to contact his superior, only to learn that he never checked in after he and his team-mates brought your colleague here. It's probably nothing, I'm very sorry if I gave you the idea that Agent DiNozzo condition was more severe than it was. I'm not saying that his condition is perfect, there was some serious internal bleeding and there is some swelling present in the brain but we managed to stop the bleeding and we're trying to reduce the inflammation in his head with medications, but considering the situation in which your colleague was I think that he can be considered one lucky man."

Stopping for a moment to catch his breath, he took a step towards the side, "you can visit him for a few minutes if you don't mind the fact that he's still sleeping of the sedation from the operation. We've given him a private room so that you don't disturb the other patients. However I must ask you to limit the time you spent with him. Although Agent DiNozzo will be fine he's still very weak, so it's important that he get's plenty of rest."

And that was all Gibbs needed to hear... Tony was going to fine, sure it would take some time. But in Gibbs book the fact that Tony would have the time to heal was far better then having not to spent time healing because he was dead. Not really thinking about the fact that he left McGee and Ziva behind or the strange piece of information of a missing member of the rescue team he hurried down towards the area where Tony was. And because he was in such a hurry, and felt so much relieve about the fact that the man he loved would recover, he rushed into Tony's room his eyes checking the agent's still frame. But he failed to check the area behind the door. Although why should he have done that? He was in a hospital, and hospital were supposed to be save, it was an area meant to heal the wounded, comfort those that lived in times of great uncertainty... it was not to be considered a dangerous area. But for once that assumption held no meaning, because hidden behind the door wearing the jacket of the man Doctor Harris was supposed to meet was James Mitchell and this time the man was determined to solve his problem.

TBC……

PS: Have you ever seen SHREK 2??? well then you do know that lovely little cat in it with the large begging eyes don't you???, well I'm looking exactly like that right know...so please if you have the time push that little review button. Your review will make me Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr happily and encourage me to write a bit faster ...and no I'm not blackmailing you all ;)


	12. Confrontation

A/N: First of all I like to apologise for not updating this story for so long. The reason for this is (still) extremely painful but I think that you have the right to know, since you all have been waiting so very patiently: while I was writing this particular chapter I received word that a friend of mine committed suicide. After that I was simply unable to focus on this story……I am deeply sorry especially after all the encouraging feedback I received.

_This chapter is dedicated to C-ee may she have found the rest that she obviously sought._

As soon as Gibbs saw Tony he forgot everything around him, even when the Director herself had stood next to him and had shouted that the world was going to end unless he came to the rescue he would still stay next to Tony. He was looking so fragile, normally DiNozzo could not stay in a single position for even a minute but now the man wasn't moving. Only the steady rise and fall of the his chest convinced Gibbs that the man he loved was still alive. Stepping next to his bed Gibbs, mindful of the IV that was attached, gently grasped Tony's hand bringing it to his mouth. Pressing a soft kiss on it, he looked down at the man he loved more then anything on the world... thinking on how he would tell him that he loved him. Therefore missing the fact that the door behind them was slowly being closed and finally locked...

'He had been right! That guy was into other guys,' James thought gleefully while he slowly closed the door and eased his gun out of his jacket. 'God, what a wuss, he isn't even noticing the fact that he and his boyfriend are about to get killed.'

For any other criminal the fact that they were in a hospital and that a locked door would be conspicuous, or the fact that the agent could have back up with him, would have been reason enough not to try anything at this particular scene to 'deal' with the problem. But James honour had been damaged and he wanted justice. So ignoring all the warning bells that normally would have blasted his eardrums to pieces, he did what he wanted to do: take revenge and damn the consequences.

Chuckling he made his presence known, "Aaaaah, is your sweetheart hurt? I just knew that you two were a couple of..."

Gibbs had turned around the moment he heard the door being locked, and dared the other man to finish his sentence with a murderous look in his eyes. And although James was stupid (and let's face it suicidal) he was not crazy enough to finish his sentence since he wanted to kill them and not the other way around. So swallowing his less then flattering comment he waved his gun in the direction of Tony .

"Get your gun out and gently put it on the floor, Gibbs. No tricks or your 'little friend' is going to pay."

Very slowly, knowing that Ziva and McGee were on their way to Tony's room, Gibbs reached for his gun and laid it on the floor with an almost submissive gesture before raising his hands and asking: "Ok, I've done what you've wanted... now what?"

Pulling the safety pin back, James grinned, "Now what? Now agent Gibbs you and your 'little friend' will die.

TBC

A/N: I promise that I will finish this story real soon, probably only one or two more chapters.


	13. Ziva's idea

A/N: I would like to say thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chapter and for their kind words. As for the story…..one more chapter I think and then it's really over ….(sadly enough….I really liked writing this story :)……

**O, before I forget the start of this chapter begins at the end of chapter 11 only now from a different kind of view… while the last part continues where 12 stopped.…ohhh you'll get it:…enjoy!!!**

McGee and Ziva shared a startled look when Gibbs took off. Knowing that it was important to stay on the doctors good side (after all they knew that Tony would want to leave the hospital as soon as possible, and for that he needed the doctors approval or Gibbs would force him to stay) they decided to at least thank the doctor before running to Tony. Unfortunately the doctor was in absolutely no hurry to leave so they were forced to spend a few agonising long minutes talking with him, again forced to hear the same story about the missing rescue workers, before they could leave.

Hurrying down the hall McGee didn't notice at first that Ziva was trailing behind, but when she called him he noticed that she had stopped halfway down the hall.

Frowning his forehead he called out to her, "Ziva why are you standing still? Don't you want to see Tony?"

"Yes, of course I want to see him McGee... but don't you think that Gibbs would want to be alone with Tony for a while? I mean... you saw the way Gibbs acted, McGee. I really think that we should give them a few minutes before we fall in on them."

The frown in McGee's forehead slowly turned into a smile, "You know Ziva, even thought your grasp of the English language is sometimes a bit strange your idea is very good. I'm sure Gibbs would want some moments alone, especially after the way he acted when we found Tony."

A few seconds passed where both the two agents stood side by side looking indecisive to what to do now. But then a new frown appeared on McGee's face. "_the way he acted.._. Hey Ziva, did you know that when Tony had the plague Gibbs was really worried, but that he did not show it? And now? He just doesn't care about being seen in an emotional state... that really isn't Gibbs style. Something is up with him. I think that we should check on Gibbs and Tony, because Gibbs is actually showing concern that tells me that we should be terrified."

And with a quick glance at each other the two agents all but run towards Tony room.

------------------------------------------------------------

Gibbs eyed the gun in James hand with an impassive face, but inside he was in a turmoil. He had thought the man would not try to kill them here in the hospital where there were a dozen witnesses. However it looked like he had made a serious mistake... a mistake that would cost both his and Tony's life unless he managed to stall long enough for Ziva and McGee to come to the rescue. Thinking of any possible way to distract him, Gibbs finally grasped the stereotype response. Inwardly seeing Tony role his eyes at him, he opened his mouth and said: "What... your not going to explain to me why your doing this?"

For a moment Gibbs thought that it would work, he saw the finger that was curled around the trigger relax fractionally, saw how James mouth opened and inwardly braced himself for a long and boring monologue about how James did what he did because life had been unfair. But what came out was not an elaborate explanation of the motivation that James had, instead it was a harsh bark that could (according to Gibbs) not be categorized as laughter. Shaking his head in amusement James chuckled "Gibbs, Gibbs... I'm not that stupid you know. You can't possible think that you can stall me long enough to save your 'lover' as well as your own life..." Wiping the smile of his face, and once again tightening his finger around the trigger he finished his sentence, "...and now agent Gibbs you really are going to die."

TBC.

REVIEWING HELPS KEEPING THE GREMLIN SILENT.


	14. The ending

A/N: Finally……….the last chapter and wow is this chapter a long one!!!!: I would like to say thanks to all the people who reviewed this story…it's been a blast .. as a final thank you I dedicate this last chapter to you all!

_Previously: shaking his head in amusement James chuckled "Gibbs, Gibbs….I'm not that stupid you know. You can't possible think that you can stall me long enough to save you 'lover' as well as your own life.." Wiping the smile of his face and once again tightening his finger around the trigger he finished his sentence, "…and now agent Gibbs you really are going to die."_

**And now for the conclusion ( I always wanted to say that )**

Gibbs had heard of the assumption that when you were about to die, your whole life would flash before your eyes. He had also heard stories of people rethinking their lives and all the failures the had made in their lives in those few seconds. Gibbs had always found those ideas crap, and when James fired his gun and the bullet slammed into him, throwing him on top of Tony's body, he only had time for one thought before the darkness claimed him.

And that thought was not one of failures or love... just one word: 'Crap.'

When Ziva and McGee reached the door to Tony's room and found it locked they had found it bizarre... after all, shouldn't all doors be open in case there was an emergency and the doctors had to help??... but looking at each other they both had thought that perhaps Gibbs had anticipated the fact that they would want to see Tony as soon as possible. And perhaps Gibbs really wanted a few moments alone to talk to Tony, but after turning away from the door with the intention to walk back towards the waiting room they heard a gun shot. And while Gibbs could be a bastard sometimes neither of the two agents could come up with a good explanation why Gibbs would want to fire his gun while Tony was injured... leading to the amazing realisation that: A) a hurt Tony B) the incredible fact that Tony always managed to get himself in trouble C) a emotional Gibbs who was distracted D) a locked hospital room and E) a gunshot all lead to F) There was someone in the room who was not Gibbs and was trying to kill Tony and quite possibly Gibbs too.

All these thoughts were taken into account and shared in just a second before McGee turned around, grabbed his gun and with a move that would undoubtedly have lead to a comment from Tony, kicked the door in. Letting the speed carrying him into the room, while noting from the corner of his eyes that Ziva followed him, he quickly scanned the room. Noting with a strange sense of detachment that the door he had kicked in had apparently thrown the shooter on the ground in an unconscious heap, but his eyes were more interested in finding Gibbs and Tony... alive.

Seeing his Boss sprawled ( _and bleeding!, McGee!_) on top of Tony was enough to spurt him into action, Ziva was already calling out for help while checking on the shooter, giving him the opportunity to go see how Gibbs and Tony were (_please, please let them be OK_). Putting his trembling fingers to his Boss neck he was relieved to find a weak (_but present, Tim!_) pulse. Not daring to move Gibbs, afraid to injure the man more, he reached around the man to feel for Tony's pulse. Sighing, when he found that one strong, it almost turned into a shriek when a hand landed on his shoulder. Half turning his head, he saw that in those few seconds that he had been checking on both men the room had been swarmed by doctors and security personnel.

However before he even had the change to think about the fact that he had totally missed their appearance and the removal of the gunner from the room, Ziva's voice called for his attention.

"McGee?, you need to move over. The doctors need to check on Gibbs and Tony. Come on McGee. We need to let them work..." And with a smile that reminded him a lot like a shark about to tear it's prey asunder she added, "...and so do we, there is a person we need to ask some questions."

……**.Two days later………**

"So let me get this straight: this guy… James killed that guy on the mountain because he discovered that James dealt in drugs. And then he decided to kill me because he thought that I heard the actually killing? So, he killed a rescue worker to get near me but then gets this crazy idea that Gibbs and I have a hot lovers-affair, and that I already told him about what I heard in a freaking storm, so he decided to kill him to?" Tony's eyebrows were almost completely gone from a complete lack of belief that such a figure was for real.

Ziva's just smiled, while McGee managed to answer: "Yes, Tony. Thank god that you found someone whose even more unbelievable then you" before bursting into laughter himself.

"Very funny Probie. But I still don't understand one thing." Tony said, while pulling himself into a more comfortable position. Even if Tony had been in a hospital more times then he could remember he would never be able to find a nice spot to lie in…but of course if he thought about it that could also be due to the fact that he was always too beat up. Groaning he decided to give up on trying to find a spot on the bed, that did not make him ache all over, but instead just asked the question that had been bothering him for a while now. "I don't understand why that guy thought that Gibbs and I were an item, I mean: I was unconscious so it wasn't me that was giving him those thoughts and I can't see how Gibbs could have so..how in the world did he come up with that?"

Both Ziva and McGee shrugged their shoulders, before Ziva did her best to answer the question.

"We really don't know why he thought that. It was the one thing I... we could not get out of him. It's possible that Gibbs did say something up that mountain but since we weren't with him we really can't answer the question." Looking over at her left she, were a curtain was drawn around a bed, she was silent for a few seconds before she said, "I think that you should ask Gibbs that question." And with a nudge to McGee's shoulder and a nod to Tony both agents stood up and left the room, leaving Tony with his thoughts.

"_Great",_ Tony mumbled, while looking at the curtain Ziva had been staring at a few minutes ago. _"Just great, how on the world am I going to do this? Just say... Hey, Boss: did that guy think we were lovers because you said something to him that he might have interpreted with his twisted mind as a confession that we were lovers or did you really proclaim your undying love for me up there?. Because if it's the first one: Ha, what an idiot... if however it's the second one: You idiot why the hell didn't you tell me sooner! ... What the hell am I suppose to do?"_

"You know DiNozzo, staring at the curtain will not give you your answer." Blinking furiously Tony was startled out of his musings 'How did Gibbs do that? Here the three of them had been sitting together all of them thinking that their Boss had been sleeping while all the while he had been listing... the Bastard!!!'

When Gibbs had woken up, and had heard the conversation his three agents were having he was sure that he was going to die of embarrassment. However since he had heard Tony's mumblings and remembering the promise he had made to himself to confess his feelings (the time for fear was over)... He knew that it was now the time for the truth.

Thus shoving the curtain away with his good arm (thank god James had a lousy shot and had only hit him in the arm), he faced Tony.

"So DiNozzo ask your question."

"..."

"Come on DiNozzo, I heard the conversation and your mumbling…..and no I'm not angry, disappointed or embarrassed...so go ahead and ask your question.

"WhydidthatJamesthinkthatwewereanitem?"

The first thing that went through Gibbs head after hearing that mumbled sentence was 'Huh?' but knowing that Tony would probably not repeat it, he decided to ignore it and just answer the question.

"It's my fault... when you didn't come back when the storm started, I panicked. Yeah that's right I panicked, I dropped everything... didn't even warn McGee or Ziva... and just went after you. Even when it became clear that looking any further would become dangerous, I wouldn't stop, that bastard saw that and interpreted rightfully how I felt about you. That's right Tony, he interpreted it rightfully! I LOVE YOU! I know that I normally don't express my emotions but when I discovered that you were gone and I couldn't find you I completely lost it. Finding you bleeding and hurt made me find my lose it even more but it also mad me find my way again... I promised myself on that moment that when we were safe and you would have recovered I would tell you how much I loved you. I know that you think that I'm a bastard for not saying this sooner... your right I'm an idiot, but I was too afraid. I feared that you would reject me, would quit your job... but then I realised that what I feared the most was that you would die without me telling you how I felt. So I'm telling you now that I Leroy Gibbs love you Tony DiNozzo!'

Looking intently at Tony the entire time, Gibbs was relieved to see that Tony was not looking in disgust at him (he had heard Tony's mumbling love declaration towards him, but you could never be sure enough, could you?). Instead DiNozzo's face was practically glowing with happiness, before a pout materialized upon his face.

"Hell you sure pick a time to confess your undying love for me boss. With us both confided to our beds, how are we supposed to give this story a fairy tail ending? You know that these kind of confessions always end with a kiss and a happily ever after. Don't you boss?"

Smiling and shaking his head Gibbs answered (even if he too was disappointed at not being able to kiss Tony) "Yeah DiNozzo I know but those are fairy tails and we both know that in real life things don't work that way. We're going to work for our relationship Tony. I'm... WE'RE not going to screw this up. We just gained something now so let's not lose it. We're going to take things slow...and if that means no kissing for the time being then so be it. I'm not going to lose you Tony... ever!"

During this speech the door to the two men's room had opened slightly, (Ziva and McGee had been to curious) and after watching the faces of the two men and the clear disappointment that showed upon their faces when they discovered that they could not seal their 'undying' love with a kiss they barged into the room (after a short look at each other) and shoved the bed of a startled Tony's against that of an equally startled Gibbs.

"Now I may be not to familiar with English expressions," Ziva said, "but sometimes real life deserves a happy ending so I suggest that you two... _shut up_ and kiss each other now."

For a moment the two man remained stunned, not only had they declared their feeling for each other but they had apparently also 'outed' themselves to their friends and co-workers. But seeing the faces of them they realised that the two agents were generally happy for them so shrugging their shoulders (for so far that was possible with their injuries) they both leaned forward to have their fairy tail kiss.

_Lifes a funny thing; you can gain something incredible fast, but you can also lose it very quickly. If you want to hold on to it you've got to fight for it... always. Don't think that it's a run race... fight for it every moment in your life... always... and maybe then you'll be able to keep it._

Fin

A/N: This was the last chapter for this story line, but that doesn't mean that I don't like receive some reviews………so FEED ME ;)


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